Show 61 - Preacher Blues

As frequently as the blues was called the devil's music, it's no surprise that blues singers had a little something to say about preachers as well. There are plenty of songs about the hypocrite that says one thing from the pulpit, while he's stealing your crops or your woman. Hi Henry Brown sang about why he wanted the preacher to stay away from his house in 1932's Vocalion recording Preacher Blues.

If you want to hear preacher curse
Bake the bread sweet mama and save him the crust
Lord, if you want to hear preacher curse
Just bake the bread sweet mama and save him the crust

Preacher in the pulpit, bible in his hand
Sister in the corner crying "There's my man"
Preacher in the pulpit, bible in his hand
Well the sister’s in the corner crying "There's my man"

Preacher comes to your house, you ask him to rest his head
Next thing he want to know, "sister, where your husband at?"
Preacher comes to your house, lord, ask him to rest his head
Next thing he want to know, "baby, where your husband at?"

Come in here and shut my door
Want you to preach the same text you did night before
Come in here and preach at my door
Want you to preach for me same text you preached night before

See that preacher walking down the street
Fixing to meddle with every sister he meets
Well you see that preacher walking down the street
He’s fixing to meddle with every sister he meets

Preacher, preacher, you nice and kind
Better not catch you at that house of mine
Swear you’re nice and kind
Better not catch you at that house of mine

Frank Stokes and Dan Sane recorded You Shall in 1927 in the form of a prayer that told the story of a stealing preacher:

Oh well it's our Father who art in heaven
The preacher owed me ten dollars, he paid me seven
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
If I hadn't took the seven, Lord I wouldn't have gotten none

Had to fight about it, but he owed me my money
Oh well some folks say that a preacher wouldn't steal
I caught about eleven in the watermelon field
Just a‑cutting and slicing got to tearing up the vine

They's eating and talking most all the time
They was hungry,
Don’t rob me preacher, my melons
Oh well you see a preacher laying behind the log

A hand on the trigger got his eye on the hog
The hog said mmm, the gun said zip
Jumped on the hog with all his grip
They had pork chops, had backbone, had spareribs

Now won’t the good Lord set me free
Now when I first went over to Memphis Tennessee
I was crazy about the preachers as I could be
I went out on the front porch walking about 

Invite the preacher over to my house
He washed his face, he combed his head
And next thing he want to do was slip in my bed
I caught him by the head, man, kicked him out the door

Don't allow my preacher at my house no more
I don’t like them
They’ll rob you
Steal your daughter, take your wife from you
Eat your chickens
Take your money, you see
They’ll rob you

Madlyn Davis' Too Black Bad also talks about a preacher stealing from the field:

I'd rather be in the shifty river floating like a logThan to stay around here, be treated like a dogNow that’s my rag, now that’s my rag and it’s too black bad

Now all the little children playing around in a ringPlaying hooky from school just to rag that thingNow that’s my rag, now that’s my rag and it’s too black bad

Now it's some folks say a preacher won't stealBut I caught a preacher in my Daddy’s fieldNow that’s my rag, now that’s my rag and it’s too black bad

Now one had the sack, the other had the hoeIf that ain't stealing, boys, I'd like to knowNow that’s my rag, now that’s my rag and it’s too black bad

Hey everybody, come on and rag with me
Hey, whup that thing down to the break boys

Play it a long time, don't you hear me talking to you hey hey hey

Here come my father with his gun

You ought to seen them preachers runNow that’s my rag, now that’s my rag and it’s too black bad

Georgia Tom Dorsey accompanied Madlyn Davis on that song. He wouldn't be singing many lyrics like that after he became known as the father of gospel music, Thomas A. Dorsey.

Joe McCoy recorded his Preacher Blues in 1931:

Some folks say a preacher won't steal
I caught three in my cornfield
One had a yellow, one had a brown
Looked over by the mill, one was getting down

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals
I went to my house about half past ten
Looked on my bed where the preacher had been

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals
He will eat your chicken, he will eat your pie
He will eat your wife out on the sly

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals
I been trying so hard trying to save my life
To keep that preacher from my wife

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals
I went out last night, came in late
I found out where he had made his date

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals
I done told you once, done told you twice
Keep over that preacher you be done lost your wife

Now some folks say that a preacher won't steal
But he will do more stealing than I get regular meals

In Who’s Been Here from 1938, Bo Carter wondered who'd been in his bed. He was pretty sure it was the preacher:

Baby who been here since your daddy been gone
Says he must have been a preacher daddy, had a long coat on
Says he must have been a preacher daddy, had a long coat on

Baby who been here since you daddy been gone
I don't know who the man was daddy, had a derby on
He had a derby on, had a derby on
I don't know who the man was daddy, had a derby on

Baby who been here since you daddy been gone
Says he must have been a jellybean had long shoes on
Had long shoes on...
Says he must have been a jellybean had long shoes on

Baby preacher's on the pulpit just trying to save souls
And his daughter's out on the highway corner selling sweet jellyroll
Selling sweet jellyroll
Says his daughter's out on the highway corner selling sweet jellyroll

And the preacher's in the pulpit jumping up and down
And the sisters back in the amen corner their saloon bound

Bob Robinson along with Meade Lux Lewis recorded The Preacher Must Get Some Sometime in 1930:

The preacher must get some sometime, when and wherever he can
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man
Brother, don't make no mistake, I just take a little gin for my stomach ache

The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man
The preacher must get some sometime, when and wherever he can
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man

I found this sister all alone with her little blue silk pajamas on
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man
The preacher must get some sometime, when and wherever he can
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man

Now I ain't trying to hang no bluff, but you don’t blame me for wanting this stuff
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man
The preacher must get some sometime, when and wherever he can
The preacher must get some sometime, when and wherever he can
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man

Oh she serves that stuff in her negligee, it was doggone good, Lord, I must say
The preacher must get some sometime, just like any other man

Songs:
Preacher Blues - Hi Henry Brown
You Shall - Frank Stokes
Too Black Bad - Madlyn Davis
Preacher Blues - Joe McCoy
Who's Been Here - Bo Carter
The Preacher Must Get Some Sometime - Bob Robinson

Show 60 - Pistol Blues

With the gun control debate raging in the U.S., I thought it seemed like a good time to look at some songs about guns. The first gun control law was passed right in the middle of the period we focus on here in 1934. The National Firearms Act was a response to the shootings occurring as part of the culture surrounding prohibition. It did specifically exempt handguns from any regulation under that law. It’s pistols that appear most often in the blues. They appear in the songs for a couple reasons, sometimes for going to bad neighborhoods or other rough spots. But mostly for revenge on that woman that’s done you wrong. Let’s start with a hit from 1929, Roosevelt Syke’s hugely influential 44 Blues:

And now I walked all night long with my .44 in my hand
And now I walked all night long with my .44 in my hand
I was looking for my woman, found her with another man

Lord I wore my forty‑four so long, Lord it made my shoulder sore
Lord I wore my forty‑four so long, Lord it made my shoulder sore
After I do what I want to ain't going to wear my forty‑four no more

Lord my baby say she heard the 44 whistle blow
Lord my baby say she heard the 44 whistle blow
Lord it sound just like ain't going to blow this horn no more

Lord I got a little cabin,, Lord it's number 44
Lord I got a little cabin, Lord it's number 44
Lord I wake up every morning, the world be scratching on my door

Blind Boy Fuller's Pistol Slapping Blues:

I can tell my dog anywhere I hear him bark
I can tell my rider if I feel her in the dark
You a cold-blooded murderer, when you want me out your way Says, that's alright mama, you gonna need my help some day
And you say you're gonna put me, mama, down in my lonesome grave Say you must remember, I once have been your slave

And I feel like snapping my pistol in your face
Let some brownskin woman be here to take your place
Let some brownskin woman be here to take your place

Now you know you didn't want me when you lie down across my bed
Drinking your moonshine whisky, mama, talking all out your head
Now give me the money, baby, I'll catch that train and go You don't have to kill me cause you don't want me no more Hey, hey, cause you don't want me no more Now you give me the money, baby, and I'll catch that train and go

Now you see my rider, tell her I said bring it home
I ain't had no loving since my gal been gone
It's two kind of people in the world that I can't stand That's a lying woman and a monkey man

Boweavil Jackson recorded Pistol Blues in 1926 with some violent lyrics for a woman that left:

Oh Jane, oh Jane, what makes you hold your head so high?
Oughta just remember, you got to live so long and die

I need not write me no letter, don't send me no word
Cut your head, woman, about the word I heard
I heard you had a man on the wheeler, had a man on the plow
Had a big man, swinging on the Johnson Bayou(?)

I'm going to carry that woman to the weeping willow tree
Oughta hear her crying, "Honey, don't murder me!"

I'm going to black her face, going to black that woman's eye
Going to kill her when she begins to cry

She said, "Roll on, Jack, Daddy do roll on"
"Roll on, Jack, Daddy do roll on"
Said, "Roll on, Jack, Daddy do roll on”
Like the way you rolling, but you ain't gonna roll so long

Ain't but two women in the world can spend my change
Not but two women, world can spend my change
Ain't but two women, mama, can spend my change
That represent Stella and that brown, my Jane

Lord, Lord, look what my brown said to me
Lord, Lord, look what she said to me
Said, Lord, Lord, look what she said to me
Said, "When I leave this town, gonna carry you back with me."

William Moore's Midnight Blues contains the classic lyric about buying a pistol as long as my right arm:

Some people say that the midnight blues ain't bad Some people say that the midnight blues ain't bad
Some people say that the midnight blues ain't bad
Well, it must not have been those midnight blues I had

Tell me, fair brownie, where did you stay last night
Tell me, fair brownie, where did you stay last night
Tell me, fair brownie, where did you stay last night
Your hair's all down and your clothes ain't fitting you right

Oh, run here, mama, run and tell me now
Run here, mama, run and tell me now
Run here, mama, run and tell me now
Say, do you love your papa anyhow?

When you see two women going together so long
When you see two women going together so long
When you see two women going together so long
You can bet your life that there's something going on wrong

I'm gonna buy me a pistol as long as my right arm
I'm gonna buy me a pistol as long as my right arm
I'm gonna buy me a pistol as long as my right arm
Gonna carry it in my pocket and make you stay at home

Walter Roland's 45 Pistol Blues talks about needing a gun to go to the baddest place in town:

I'm going over to Third Alley, Lord but I'm going to carry my .45
I'm going over to Third Alley, Lord but I'm going to carry my .45
Because you know ain't many men go there and come back alive
They will shoot you and cut you, Lord they will knock you down
Lord, they will shoot you and cut you, Lord they will knock you down

And you can ask anybody ain't that the baddest place in town
Mens carry .38s, womens carry their razors too
Mens carry .38s, womens carry their razors too
And you know you better not start nothing, know they'll make away with you
Says I ain't going to Third Alley no more unless I change my mind
Ain’t going to Third Alley no more, Lord, unless I change my mind

Because you know I done got shot once over there, Lord it's about three or four times
Says you know I'm gonna need my .45 much too big
Lord, my .45 much too big
Cause you know when I carry that gun, Lord I can’t keep it hid

J.T. "Funny Paper" Smith takes on the role of an obsessive former lover who can't get over the woman that left him in Forty-Five Blues

I feel mean and hateful, I just can't feel satisfied
I feel mean and hateful, I just can't feel satisfied
I'm going out after my woman this morning and I'm taking my .45

My woman quit me last summer and I can't get her off my mind
My woman quit me last summer and I can't get her off my mind
And if she don't come back this morning, you gonna hear my .45 crying

Folks, I hate to be mean, but I can't be good if I try
Folks, I hate to be mean, but I can't be good if I try
And when I call my baby this morning, I'm calling her with my .45

Now the police got so they arrest me every time they catch me on the street
Police got so they arrest me every time they catch me on the street
And told me this morning, they're gonna let me catch you on my beat

Now everybody talking and telling me, why don't I let that no good woman be
Everybody talking and telling me, why don't I let that no good woman be
Cause she may show me that she didn't want me, but I don't got sense enough to see

Soon as I do what I want to do, then I'll be satisfied
Soon as I do what I want to do, then I'll be satisfied
That's kill my woman and walk to the police and hand them my .45

Leroy Carr's also singing about finding a woman who's left and he's bring a new Shinin’ Pistol, recorded in 1934:

I'm going to get me a brand new pistol with a long shiny barrel
I'm going to get me a shiny pistol with a long shiny barrel
I'm going to ramble this town over until I find my girl

I'm going to go to the station and try to find her there
I'm going to go to the station and try to find her there
And if the Lord has not got her, she's in this world somewhere

She left me with a head full of trouble and a head full of misery
She left me with a head full of trouble and a head full of misery
And now she's got me crying, baby please come back home to me

My mother told me, don't you weep don't you moan
My mother told me, don't you weep don't you moan
Because, son, there'll be women here when you’re dead and gone

When I get through rambling and looking this whole world through
When I get through rambling and looking this whole world through
I won't be dead with trouble you know I died to lose

Robert Johnson 32/20 Blues is all about handguns and ow he's got the advantage over his woman if she doesn't listen to him:

I send for my baby, and she don't come
If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
All the doctors in Hot Springs sure can't help her none

And if she gets unruly, thinks she don't want to do
And if she gets unruly and thinks she don't want to do
Take my 32-20, now, and cut her half in two

She got a .38 special but I believe it's most too light
She got a .38 special but I believe it's most too light
I got a 32-20, got to make the caps alright

If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
All the doctors in Hot Springs sure can't help her none

I'm gonna shoot my pistol, gonna shoot my gatling gun
I'm gonna shoot my pistol, got to shoot my gatling gun
You made me love you, now your man has come

Oh, baby, where you stayed last night
Oh, baby, where you stayed last night
You got your hair all tangled and you ain't talking right

Her .38 special, boys, it do very well
Her .38 special, boys, it do very well
I got a 32-20 now, and it's a burning...

If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
If I send for my baby, man, and she don't come
All the doctors in Wisconsin sure can't help her none

Hey, hey, baby, where you stayed last night
Hey, hey, baby, where you stayed last night
You didn't come home until the sun was shining bright

Oh boys, I just can't take my rest
Oh boys, I just can't take my rest
With this 32-20 laying up and down my breast

These songs about men finding a weapon to go hurt a woman can be frightening, but they show how much despair getting hurt in a relationship can cause, which is the heart of the blues.
Songs:
44 Blues - Roosevelt Sykes
Pistol Slapping Blues - Blind Boy Fuller
Pistol Blues - Boweavil Jackson
Midnight Blues - William Moore
45 Pistol Blues - Walter Roland
Forty-Five Blues - J.T. "Funny Paper" Smith
32/20 Blues - Robert Johnson

Show 59 - Walking the Street

Prostitution was illegal almost everywhere in the United States by the blues era. But, of course it was everywhere. Most blues songs on the subject address women walking in the street trying to find a trick. There’s no sign of the brothels that are often thought to be a higher class form of prostitution. Call girls that can be reached by telephone don’t seem to turn up either. In the blues, it’s the street walking woman. Some of the songs are poignant and touching descriptions of life of the street, others are pretty funny. Let’s start with a woman who chronicled prostitution in several songs. Georgia White’s Walking the Street:

Stood on the corner til my feet got soaking wet
Stood on the corner til my feet got soaking wet
These are the words I said to each and every man I met

If you ain't got a dollar, give me a lousy dime
If you ain't got a dollar, give me a lousy dime
I've got to beg and steal to please that man of mine

My feets are blistered just from walking these lonesome streets
My feets all blistered just from walking these lonesome streets
I've been walking all night like a police on his beat

Wait a minute mister, mister, give me a cigarette
Wait a minute minute mister, give me a cigarette
Stop your car, let me in, I've got what you should get

I've got these streetwalking blues, I ain't got no time to lose
I've got these streetwalking blues, I ain't got no time to lose
I've got to make six dollars just to buy my man a pair of shoes

Like Georgia White, Memphis Minnie was named for her Southern roots, but resided in Chicago by the mid-thirties. Down in the Alley is probably about the dangers of working the streets in that town.

I met a man, asked me did I want a pally
Yes, baby, let's go down in the alley
Take me down in the alley
Take me down in the alley
Take me down in the alley
And I can get my business fixed all right

Well, I met another man, asked him for a dollar
Might have heard that mother-for-you holler
Let's go down in the alley
Let's go down in the alley
Let's go down in the alley
Take me down in the alley
And I can get my business fixed all right

When he got me in the alley, he called me a name
What I put on him was a crying shame
Down in this alley
Down in this alley
Down in this alley
Where I got my business fixed all right

You got me in the alley, but don't get rough
I ain't gonna put up with that doggone stuff
Way down in this alley
Down in this alley
Down in the alley
Got me down in the alley, now my business fixed all right

(spoken:Woo, it's dark
Can't see no light
Got to feel my way out this alley
I'm sure gonna stop working at night)

You took me in the alley, you knocked me down
Now I'm gonna call every copper in this town
You got me down in the alley
Way down in the alley
You got me down in the alley
Now you got your business fixed all right
(spoken: Boys, I'm sure gonna stop working, and walking late at night, especially when you gotta do it in the alley)

Memphis Minnie recorded Tricks Ain’t Walking No More in 1931 about the difficulty of finding a trick during the hard times of the Great Depression.

Times has done got hard, work done got scarce
Stealing and robbing is taking place
Because tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
Tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
And I'm going to grab somebody if I don't make me some dough

I'm going to do just like a blind man, stand and beg for change
Tell these tricking policemen change my second name
Because tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
Tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
And I've got to make some money, I don't care where I go

I'm going to learn these walking tricks what it's all about
I'm going to get them in my house and ain't going to let them out
Because tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
Tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
And I can't make no money, I don't care where I go

I got up this morning with the rising sun
Been walking all day and I haven't caught a one
Because tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
Tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
And I can't make a dime, I don't care where I go

I got up this morning, feeling tough
I got to calling my tricks and it's rough, rough, rough
Because tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
Tricks ain't walking, tricks ain't walking no more
And I have to change my luck if I have to move next door

Atlanta's Curley Weaver recorded his take on Tricks Ain’t Walkin’ No More in 1935 providing a male perspective and some humorous verses:

Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, stay away from my door
I got a gal, she’s little and low
Used to have a trick, but she don’t no more
Now tricks ain’t walking no more, babe
Tricks ain’t walking no more
I said tricks ain’t walking no more

Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, stay away from my door
Two fat women laying in the shade, waiting on the money the monkey man made
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
I said, tricks ain’t walking no more

Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe stay away from my door
I got a gal she’s long and tall, sleeps in  in the kitchen with her head in the hall

Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, stay away from my door
Sue’s out running every day, trying to drive her friends away
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
I said, tricks ain’t walking no more

Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, stay away from my door
Come in hot mama you long and tall, shake for me like a cannonball
Tricks ain’t walking no more, babe, tricks ain’t walking no more

Sonny Boy Nelson recorded Street Walkin’ Woman about the difficulty of living with a woman that's walking the streets:

Nobody knows street walking woman like I do
Well, nobody knows street walking woman like I do
She’ll keep you up all night long, then will spend your money too

She’ll come home every morning with a rag tied on her head
She’ll come home every morning with a rag tied on her head
And if you speak about loving, man, she’ll swear she’s almost dead

She won’t cook you no breakfast, clothes ain’t never clean
She won’t cook you no breakfast, and your clothes ain’t never clean
But she can spend more money than any woman that you’ve ever seen

Sometimes she will say “Baby, I love you so”
Sometimes she will say “Baby, I love you so”
And again she will tell you to pack your clothes and go

I don’t want no woman that walks the streets all night
I don’t want no woman that walks the streets all night long
She will spend all of your money and then won’t want to treat you right

Memphis Jug Band recorded the metaphor-filled She Done Sold it Out in 1934:

You know I had a gal, she run a java shop
I asked her how about it, not a crust in that shop
You ought to know she done sold it out
You ought to know she done sold it out
You ought to know, you oughta know, she done sold it out

You know a man walked in, say have you any eggs
Say I'll sell you some meat, if you furnish your bread
You ought to know she done sold it out
You ought to know she done sold it out
You ought to know, you oughta know, she done sold it out

Now the butcher's in the market they begin to pout
She sold all their meat and the butchers could not sell out
You ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know, you oughta know, she done sold it out

You know they taken her before the judge, the judge asked me what is your name?
Cooncan Suzie and my mother was to blame
He ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know, you oughta know, she done sold it out

You know the judge said little girl, you know you're rather bold
You can sell me some meat just before you go
He ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know she done sold it out
He ought to know, you oughta know, she done sold it out

I'm going to the races, see my pony run
I believe I can find something just begun
He ought to know I done sold her out
He ought to know I sold my racehorse out
He oughta know, he oughta know, I done sold him out out out.

Georgia White recorded a humorous take on the subject I’ll keep Sitting on It:

If I can't sell it, keep sitting on it
Before I give it away
You've got to buy, don't care how much you want it
I mean just what I say

Just feel that nice old bottom built for wear or tear
I really hate to part with such a lovely chair
If I can't sell it, keep sitting on it
Before I'll give it away

If I can't sell it, I'll keep sitting on it
Before I'll give it away
You've got to buy, don't care how much you want it
I mean just what I say

When you want something good you've got to spend your jack
I guarantee you will never want your money back
If I can't sell it, I'll keep sitting on it
Before I'll give it away

If I can't sell it, keep sitting on it
Before I give it away
You've got to buy, don't care how much you want it
I mean just what I say

When you want something good you've got to spend your jack
I guarantee you'll never want your money back
If I can't sell it, I'll keep sitting on it
Before I'll give it away

In these blues songs, prostitution is presented largely without judgment. It’s shown as a tough life, where sometimes you need to laugh. Having to walk the streets is a classic blues situation. 

Songs:
Walking the Streets - Georgia White
Down in the Alley - Memphis Minnie
Tricks Ain't Walking No More - Memphis Minnie
Tricks Ain't Walkin' No More - Curley Weaver
Street Walkin' Woman - Sonny Boy Nelson
She Done Sold It Out - Memphis Jug Band
I'll Keep Sitting On It - Georgia White

Show 58 - Dirty Dozens

I recently finished reading Elijah Wald’s book called The Dozens: A History of Rap’s Mama. The dozens is a game of trading insult wordplay, sometimes it rhymes, sometimes it doesn’t, it often involves talking about your opponent’s mama. The book covers the pre-blues period to recent hip-hop and a lot of things beyond the world of music. But there are some prewar blues songs that are great examples of the game and at least one that really affected it’s evolution. So, we’ll start there with Speckled Red’s very funny hit from 1929, The Dirty Dozen.

Now, I want all you womenfolks to fall in line
Shake your shimmy like I’m shaking mine
You shake your shimmy and you shake it fast
You can’t shake your shimmy, shake your yes, yes, yes

Now you’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

Yonder go your mama going out across the field
Running and shaking like an automobile
I hollered at your mama and I told her to wait
She slipped away from me like a Cadillac Eight

Now she’s a running mistreater, robber and a cheater
Pappy is your cousin, slip you in the dozen
Your mama do the lordy-lord

I like your mama and like your sister too
I did like your daddy, but your daddy wouldn’t do
I met your daddy on the corner the other day
You know by that that he was funny that way

So now he’s a funny mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your papa is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

God made him an elephant and he made him stout
He wasn’t satisfied until he made him a snout
Made his snout just as long as a rail
He wasn’t satisfied until he made him a tail
He made his tail just to fan the flies
He wasn’t satisfied until he made some eyes
He made his eyes to look over the grass
Wasn’t satisfied until he made his yes, yes, yes
Made his yes, yes, yes and didn’t get it fixed
Wasn’t satisfied until it made him sick
It made him sick, Lord, it made him well
You know by that the elephant caught hell

Now he’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

Six months later Speckled Red still had more dozens verses to lay down when he recorded The Dirty Dozen Part Two.

Now, now boys, say you ain’t acting fair
You know by that you got real bad hair
Your face is all hid, now your back’s all bare
If you ain’t doing the bobo, what’s your head doing down there?

You’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousin
And your mama do the lordy-lord

Now, your little sister, why she asked me to kiss her
I told her to wait until she got a little bigger
She got a little bigger, said now I did kiss her
You know by that, boy, I did miss her

Now she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, and your papa is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

Now the first three months said she did very well
Next three months she began to raise a little hell
Next three months said she got real rough
You know by that, that she was strutting her stuff

Now you’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousin
And your mama do the lordy-lord

Now I like your mama, but she wouldn’t do this
I hit her cross the head with my great big fist
The clock’s on the shelf going tick tick tick
Your mama’s out on the street doing I don’t know which

Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten
I like your mama but she got too many men
Ashes to ashes, now it’s sand to sand
Every time I see her, she’s got a brand new man

Now she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousin
And your mama do the lordy-lord

Speckled Red with two versions of the dirty dozen singing about your family, how your mama’s got too many men,implying he got your little sister pregnant, and your papa’s funny that way. Also, singing about how god made an elephant in what would become a widely imitated rhyme.
The recorded version of this song is clearly a cleaned-up version of what Red was singing in the bars and brothels where he played in the twenties. In the sixties he did end up recording a far dirtier version.

Kokomo arnold recorded his own version of Speckled Red’s hit featuring his own slide guitar  style. He called it The Twelves when he recorded it in 1935:

Says I want everybody, fall in line
Shake your shimmy like I'm shaking mine
You shake your shimmy, shake it fast
If you can't shake your shimmy shake your yas yas yas

Cause you a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

Says yonder gp your mama out across the field
Slipping and a‑sliding just like an automobile
I hollered at your mama I told her to wait
She slipped away from me just like a Cadillac Eight

Cause she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Let your mama do the lordy-lord

Say I like your mama, sister too
I did like your papa, but your papa wouldn't do
I met your papa around the corner the other day
I soon found out that he was funny that a‑way

Cause he’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Let your mama do the lordy-lord

Says I went out yonder, New Orleans
The wildcat jumped on the sewing machine
The sewing machine sewed so fast
Sewed ninety‑nine stitches up his yes yes yes

Cause you a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousin
Your mama do the lordy-lord

Says God made elephant, made him stout
He wasn't satisfied until he made him a snout
He made him a snout just as long as a rail
He wasn't satisfied until he made him a tail
He made him a tail just to fan the flies
He wasn't satisfied until he made him some eyes
He made him some eyes just to look on the grass
He wasn't satisfied then he made his yes yes yes
He made his yes yes yes and he didn’t get it fixed
He wasn't satisfied until he made him sick
He made him sick and then made him well
You know by that the big boy's coughing in hell

Luke Jordan’s Pick Poor Robin Clean ranges across a few subjects, but it’s got one great verse in classics dozens style where he tells his theoretical dozens opponent that if he comes after Jordan’s girls, he’s gonna have your ma, aunt, sister, and great granny:

You better pick poor robin clean, poor robin clean
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat

You'd better pick poor robin clean
Pick poor robin clean
But I'll be satisfied having your family

Get off my money and don't get funny
'Cause I'm a nigger, don't cut no figure
Gambling for Sadie, she is my lady
I'm a hustling coon that's just what I am

You better pick poor robin clean, poor robin clean
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat
You'd better pick poor robin clean
Pick poor robin clean
But I'll be satisfied having your family
Well didn't that jaybird laugh
When he picked poor robin clean
Picked poor robin clean, poor robin clean
Didn't that jaybird laugh
When he picked poor robin clean
Well I'll be satisfied having your family

Well if you have that girl of mine
Gonna have your ma, your sister too
Your auntie three
If your great-grandmammy do the shivaree
I'm gonna have 'em all
I'll be satisfied keeping up your family

You better pick poor robin clean, poor robin clean
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat

You'd better pick poor robin clean
Pick poor robin clean
But I'll be satisfied having your family
Well didn't that jaybird laugh
When he picked poor robin clean
Picked poor robin clean, poor robin clean

Didn't that jaybird laugh when he picked poor robin clean
Well I'll be satisfied having your family

You better pick poor robin clean, poor robin clean
I picked his head, I picked his feet
I picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat

You'd better pick poor robin clean
Pick poor robin clean
But I'll be satisfied having your family

Well didn't that jaybird laugh
When he picked poor robin clean
Picked poor robin clean, poor robin clean, poor robin clean
Jaybird laughed..
When he picked poor robin clean
Well I'll be satisfied having your family

Charley Jordan recorded a song with some similarities to both Luke Jordan's and Speckled Red's songs in 1930. Keep it Clean:

I went to the river, I couldn't get across
I jumped on your papa because I thought he was a horse no
Rode him over, give him a coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

Up she jumped, down she fell, her mouth flew open like a mussel shell
Now get him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

You sister was a tabby, your daddy was a bear
Put a muzzle on your mama, because she had bad hair
Got him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

If you want to hear that elephant laugh
Take him down to the river and wash his yes yes yes
Got him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

If you want to go to heaven when you D-I-E
You got to put on your collar and your T-I-E now
Got him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

If you want to get the rabbits out the L-O-G
You got to put on the stump like a D-O-G
Now ride him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
takes soap and water for to keep it clean

Run here doctor, run here fast
See what's the matter with his yes yes yes
Now ride him over, give him a coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice cream
soap and water for to keep it clean

Leroy carr recorded a whole series of "Papa" songs. Papa Wants to Knock a Jug is the most clearly in the dozens tradition from 1931, the lyrics are mostly about the mama:

I saw your mama in Kansas City
The way she was looking was a doggone pity

Feet on the ground, clothes wasn't clean
Dirtiest old stuff I’ve ever seen

Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

Now I got a gal she is big as a bull
She never stops drinking till her belly gets full
Gets full of liquor and tries to sing
Tight like that and shake that thing
Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I ask her about it she said before long
Let's get together because your water's on
Let's get started, be long gone
Let's get together what you waiting on
Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I saw you mama way last spring, eyeballs shining like a diamond ring
Staggered down the street hollering and a‑fussing
I tried to stop her and I got a good cussing
Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I saw your mama, your papa too
What they was doing just won't do
I slipped up on them and took one look
What they was doing wasn't in the book
Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

If you want some loving, you want it cheap
Go down on Ellsworth about the middle of the week
Show them girls a quarter, they won't let you go
It's four or five times and then some more
Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

Ben Curry recorded New Dirty Dozen in 1932:

Emma went fishing, she went with Lou
Lou threw down her other shoe
Emma sit down up on the grass
Brother came and pushed on her yes yes yes

Now he’s a pushing mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozen
Your father is your cousin
Mama doing the lordy lord

Papa killed a turkey, he thought he was a thief
Took him a long time to get a little peace
Brother tried to show her, she was so fast
Drove her all over from his yes yes yes

Now she’s a digging mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozens
Father is your cousin
Mama doing the lordy lord

Bill and Oz were shooting dice the other night
Oz threw in the money and he started a fight
Bill tried to hit him a little too fast
took his knife and juked him on his yes yes yes

Now he’s a juking mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip them in the dozens
Father is your cousin
Mama doing the lordy lord

Charles and Zeke come to our town
Teaching everbody how to get it down
Old woman got down a little too fast
Caught the room and threw him on his yes yes yes

Now he’s a catching mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip them in the dozens
Father is your cousin
Mama doing the lordy lord

She was fishing forty years, she never broke a plate
She cooked forty years, she never burned a steak
We got her from the box, bottom to the top (?)
Cutting forty years said she should know her stuff

Now she’s a cutting mistreater, robber and a cheater
Slip you in the dozens
Father is your cousin
Mama doing the lordy lord

Songs:

The Dirty Dozen - Speckled Red
The Dirty Dozen Part Two - Speckled Red
The Twelves - Kokomo Arnold
Pick Poor Robin Clean - Luke Jordan
Keep it Clean - Charley Jordan
Papa Wants to Knock a Jug - Leroy Carr
New Dirt Dozen - Ben Curry